Saturday, December 4, 2010

Random Intervention

I'm in a really funky mood today, kind of sassy and mischievous, so I may regret this post, but I feel like chatting nonetheless. I want to eat everthing in the house today!! I'm up to 1259 calories so far, and I feel like I could eat 5000 more!! It's not helping that I haven't exercised, that I'm sitting on my rear end in bed watching episodes of Lie to Me (love that show!) on my laptop, and just want to stuff food in my face when really I should be working on my eBay business, putting listings together for the gobs of stamps and paper sitting in my craftroom and bedroom. The monkeys are jumping on my bed, literally, and I'm sending them out for food from the kitchen like I'm Jabba the Hut or something. Sigh...

Audrey, can't you give us any hints about this secret big prize? Frankly, I was hoping it was going to be a big motivator for me during this difficult and challenging eating season. I hate to sound defeatist, but I'm just trying to hang on to my current weight and not go over 190 by Christmas. Help bring out the competitor in me!! 'Cause she's gone on vacation and she needs to come back and get her rear in gear. Yeah, I sound kind of whiney, I know. But I do need a kick in the pants. Any takers?

2:55pm MST update - the kids just brought me a bag of mini Snickers. I'm doomed!!!

3:10pm MST update - I only ate one 42-calorie piece. Can you believe that?! Then Jabba the Hut made them go fetch an apple. But I don't know how long that health trend will last...

3:20pm MST update - Now I've got some Laughing Cow wedges and Reduced Fat Triscuits. Plural...

4:20pm MST update - Not only am I going to get my rear out of bed, but I'm going to exercise and drink water. But WHILE I watch more episodes on my laptop. Mwuahahahahahah!!!!

Audrey's Holiday PartyTips

Last night I attended two holiday week there are more. 'Tis the season right? Well, how do you stay in control? Some of us may think I just enjoy the party because it's the only time I let myself indulge, others of us know if we unleash on the party food there may be no looking back for weeks...

So this morning as I think about my post party diet I've come up with some great ideas. Some that I have learned over the years and some new ones that I think are beneficial.

1. If it's a later party make sure you eat a light dinner before hand including a lot of water. If you can remember that you are full and don't need to eat, maybe you can choose something you really want and stop there. I'm a fan of a protein shake that really fills me up.

2. If you are to bring something to the party make it something healthy that you will want to eat that way you know you have something for sure to nibble on. Build up your healthy appetizer repertoire.

3. Keep a drink in your hand. Preferably water or some other non caloric drink. You're less likely to shove food in your mouth if you're busy drinking.

4. Stay away from things that look like they are store bought and find things that are homemade. Store bought things are going to have more calories and sodium than something someone made at home.

5. Ok, no one is going to like this. Stay away from the cheese. Yep, I said it. High calories, high fat and once you dig in it's hard to stop. If you go for it anyway, limit yourself to one delicious good size bite you can walk away from.

6. Move away from the food. Visit with people away from the food.

7. And last but not least, find a way to exercise earlier in the day so you have a few extra calories to spare. Eat sensibly throughout the day.

Friday, December 3, 2010


There's been some talk on the blog and elsewhere about skinny jeans and jeggings. If you're on Team Coco, you might be interested to see what he has to say on the subject.

If Conan O'Brien can do it, WHY CAN'T I? Even Tim Gunn approves.

On Gratitude

Well, I just finished up a months worth of posts on my blog about things I'm grateful for.
It was a great exercise for me. It helped me think outside the box a little bit, to come up with more than the usual things I normally think of.

I'm so grateful for this body of mine.

Some days I despise it and all it's flaws, but it really is a wonderful miracle. Imagine. Your heart beats 60+ times a minute. What a muscle! Can you imagine clenching and unclenching your fist  sixty times a minute, all day long? I think my hand would get a little tired after the first two or three minutes. But your heart does it every second of every day, for about 70 years! Incredible.
And don't even get me started on the brain. What an impossibly amazing machine is my body!
I am grateful for this temple of mine. And I'm SO grateful for the wonderful Creator who made me.
That's the other thing. When you really look closely at how fantastic we all are, to me it just testifies that there is a supreme being who makes it all possible.

Have a splendid weekend everyone!

Our Thankful door

 My sister reminded me of a great idea... a "Thankful Door" during November. We had a great time writing things down every day. We even let friends write things when they came over. :)
One of my very favorites is "MY HAPPY MOOD" Every time you looked at it you couldn't help but grin!
It is much easier to have a happy mood when you are thinking of things to be grateful for. Thank you Audrey for challenging us to do this. I have been feeling way to stressed out the last few days.

I am grateful for so many things. Today, I am grateful for the lessons I learn when going through hard times. I am grateful for a God who never leaves me alone but does let me struggle along so I can learn. I am grateful for all the angels he sends to help me and... I consider all of you to be some of those angels. THANK YOU!


Are any of you watching this season of The Biggest Loser?? This season is NOT my favorite, but of course I'm still hooked. The 'game' is really getting to me this year! Season 10:Couples starts January 4th. If you don't watch, you should. It's kind of amazing and I would love to get my butt kicked by Bob & Jillian. I'd probably throw up a million times, but it would still be awesome.

P.S. I really want that game!!

I love that exercise puts it all into perspective for me. Those climbing numbers on the treadmill symbolize so many things but for's like a light bulb moment. If I am doing some sort of physical activity, everything else just falls into place. I'm thinking about water, I'm trying to eat early, I'm thinking about my goals....
This sounds horrible, but this week I am really focusing on not stuffing myself. Lately I have been so bad at just eating and eating and eating. If I'm not full, I'm looking for food. It was a bad phase and it's one I have had before.

I've done an hour on the treadmill the last 2 nights which is making me feel pretty good. It's been a while since I've done some good solid working out. I miss how it makes me feel. Still not RUNNING, but walking fast and doing some very short jogs is as far as I can get. The treadmill is new for me. I'm a spin and elliptical kind of girl so I will take all the advice I can get! It's definitely different.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What goes first?

When I take a week (or two) off of my regular work out routine, my arms and upper back muscles always seem to go first. That is, when I get back into the routine, I can't lift the weights without serious effort and shakiness. Is that normal? Only two weeks out and already the body wants to become jello. Maybe I didn't eat enough protein the day before. Or maybe my body is like my only takes a short while before it loses its sheen and slumps with clutter.

What area of your body is the first to go when you take a break?

Ms. Thunderbumper Challenge #1 Grattitude

I heard a great talk on Sunday about how being grateful and thinking about how grateful we are actually improves our brain capacity...therefore it's healthy. I thought, wow, having gratitude helps us be healthy.

So, this challenge we are going to increase our brain capacity and be grateful.

5 extra points for commenting on this post or 10 points for posting about what you are grateful for.

You have until Sunday to complete this.

I'm grateful for all of you and your participation in this blog!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Becoming Zsa Zsa Gabor

Jill's post about her daughter has inspired me to relate my own story about "losing it." Let me preface this by saying that rationally I know that speeding is my own fault and that I am not usually a loud, irrational, attention-hogging, obnoxious person. In fact, I'm usually the opposite. But Zsa Zsa Gabor is who I became last Saturday night.

A few days before, I got a speeding ticket coming back from picking up my son from school. There's this strip of road where the speed limit is 40 and goes to 55, and where it goes to 55 used to be in a different spot than it is now, so traffic usually goes faster than it should. I was just lolly-gagging along, going with the flow of traffic, not paying attention to my speed, and a cop clocked me going 52 in a 40. Not only that, but he said he pulled me over (i.e. singled me out from the other cars) because my registration was expired. Huh? I KNOW I paid it! I remember waiting in line FOREVER to pay it! Sure enough, the police officer ran my plates, and they were current. I'd just forgotten to put the sticker on. Aarrgh! So, that was my first speeding ticket.

Snap back to Saturday night. There'd been the usual traveling frustrations around Thanksgiving. I was doing all the holiday shopping while were were in Utah with all the post-Thanksgiving sales and Zen stayed back at my Mom's helping to watch the kids, and there were complaints from him and the teenagers that they were stuck watching the babies while I was out running errands. Hello! I watch babies 24/7, what's the big deal?! And besides, I'm out buying your presents and taking care of Christmas for you! But 99% of the time I'm the caboose when it comes to getting out of the door, and they all hate it, even though that's because I'm the one who can remember all the little things we need, and there are always little last-minute things that have to be added to the pile of things to pack in the car. I try hard to delegate, I really do. In fact on this trip, every time I handed Zen an assignment for packing, I said, "See, I'm delegating!" But despite all that, I was still the person holding everyone up late Saturday afternoon as I finished one more errand before we headed back to Rock Springs, Wyoming.

Plus, there's stress from being away from my business and knowing how much work is waiting for me when I get back. It's overwhelming sometimes! Working for yourself can be harder than working for someone else. But that's a topic for another time. Also, it had been probably 2 days since I'd taken my anti-anxiety meds, because I was just frazzled from traveling and I forgot. I don't want to use them as a copout, as if I don't have the ability to make my own choices, but let me tell you, they do make a difference if you've ever had to battle with depression. They just give you an extra edge over your own crazy biochemistry.

Okay, now finally down to the nitty-gritty of my story. Zen and I were traveling in separate vehicles, me in the mini-van and him in the truck, because our 7-person family and all our luggage just don't fit in one car anymore. I was taking it easy, letting him be the pace car, because I do have a lead foot I'll admit, and Zen likes to brag about the functioning cruise control on his truck (mine on the mini-van is broken.) I was falling behind, enjoying the scenery or something, and after falling behind about 1/4 to 1/2 mile Zen called me to ask if I was going to try and stay together in our little caravan. Yes, of course, you slow down, and I'll catch up. I went faster to catch up, and then spent the rest of the trip falling behind and then going faster to keep up. I fell behind again, and was speeding up to catch up just outside of Evanston, and that's when the flashing lights came up behind me for the second time in four days. I'm pretty sure I swore outloud, or was thinking about it. My emotional reaction was to feel anger, anger at Zen for going so darn fast and bugging me to keep up and anger at the cops for "picking on me." I know they are just doing their job, but come on, 2 tickets just days apart?! I just wanted to say, "Leave me alone!!!"

So, he clocked me going 87 in a 75 and he did his license and registration spiel: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" (I'm thinking, that's a stupid question!) "Ummm, probably for my speed." (Zen later told me I should never admit to anything, play dumb or something. Whatever, I was so strung out, just numb from the stress of vacation and having been pulled over twice in four days.) He took all my paperwork back to his car to write me up. I didn't time him, but it felt like forever before he came back. The longer I sat there, the more upset I became, angry at Zen, angry at the universe, angry at the cop, until I started crying and sent an angry text to Zen about what a lousy pace car he was. So, the cop finally came back, and I'm sitting there bawling my eyes out.

I think that's when the cop started treating me like a nuclear bomb about to go off. I'm sitting there crying, with my three youngest children (who I always refer to as "the babies" because they are so much younger than my teenagers. There's Connor who's 5, Emmas who's 2, and Sammy who's 7 months), as the dvd player is running How to Train Your Dragon for the 2nd or 3rd time. Blessedly, none of the children are crying, but I sure am! And these are angry tears. He tried to continue with his script of how to deal with the ticket, and I just blurted out in an angry way, "How much is this going to cost me?!" "Ma'am I know you are upset-" blah, blah, blah. Of course I'm upset, and if you don't want me to cry, take your stupid pink ticket and go away! But I don't say that, I just sit there fuming.

After he handed me the paperwork, he went back to his car. I just sat there, so upset, and not wanting to move. He came back after a few minutes, "Ma'am I know you are upset, but you really can't stay here on the side of the road." That's when I abandoned nearly all grip on good manners and emotional control. "I've got a stack of dvds, a bottle of formula, diapers, and wipes, and I will sit here as long as I want to!!" Yes, I really said that. And regrettably, it still feels good. "Ma'am, no, it's not safe here by the side of the road. Please drive on to the next exit and pull over." He went back to his car. Only now, I'm just angry, so I decide to sit there and play a game of chicken to see who will move their car first. I'm a passive-aggressive psycho now. Sure enough, he came back after a few minutes and asked me to move on.

But I'm in an angry, snotty mood and I decide to move my car, but only 20 feet down the road. Again, he got out of his car, came up and tapped on my window and asked me to move on. I decide to move my car another 20 feet down the road, only now my car is stuck in the snow bank. "Ma'am, let me call a tow truck for you." I quickly retorted, "Are you going to pay the bill?!! Get back there and push!" "No, ma'am I will not push your car." So, I got out of my car to start kicking snow out of the way, so I could move my car. "Ma'am, please don't do that. Get back in your car where it's warm and let me get my shovel." So, he's shoveling snow and I'm kicking snow. The car won't budge. At one point when he was standing back to let me move my car, I got out to kick snow again and grabbed his shovel where he'd left it and started heaving snow out of the way like a demon, thinking "I'm in so much better shape than you! I can do it faster!" He'd had a few too many donuts or chili dogs in his career. "Ma'am, here, let me do that." (Ma'am please quit being an irrational pycho.) And at one point, he did wind up pushing my car. Yes, that was satisfying, even though it didn't budge the car. Eventually I did get my car out with my persistant snow kicking, and I bet he was really, really glad to see me go.

I was still pretty angry, and now that I think about it, probably in need of a really, really long workout (it had been 3 days since I'd had a good workout.) Anyway, I was driving really, really slowly, only about 30 to 40, hoping he'd catch up just so I could be a pain in the butt again, but he must have 180'd just as soon as he could, so he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. This whole time, Zen and the teenagers, who were in his truck, kept trying to get ahold of me, but we were in some kind of dead zone out there in the middle of nowhere. And this is making me angry, too, that they keep calling me but the call keeps getting dropped. I sent a couple angry texts when the phone calls didn't work, so I decide I will go home slowly, driving only about 50 to 55, taking my sweet time, just so I can be irritating. Irritating to who, I'm not sure, but I was one cranky chick.

I double-dosed myself with my meds Sunday, bawled my eyes out in sacrament meeting, apologized to Zen afterwards & bawled some more, got a lot of sleep, goofed off Monday, and then got back in the saddle yesterday, starting to take care of things I'd been procrastinating. I'm pretty much back to normal, and I think Zsa Zsa Gabor has left, but her perfume still lingers...

Tasty chicken

So I "made up" this chicken breast recipe last night based on a vague memory of something similar I found on a blog once that I failed to bookmark. I didn't even measure the ingredients. Literally just threw them together in unscientific looks-about-right-guesstimation. And the kids ate it (with the initial complaining that disappeared after they ate a bite.) I also had couple leftovers so I cut those up and put them on my salad today with Santa's nose sized cherry tomatoes, avocado, and some Paul Newman light dressing. It was delish!

Pecan chicken
1 package of chicken breasts: pound (meat mallet) and cut up
Pecans - about 1/2 c pecans, blend or pound those out to a crumble
Sea salt - 2 tsp maybe
Paprika (sweet) -1 tbsp maybe

Yum and, with four ingredients, I'm tellin' ya, you can't go wrong.

Having "one of those days"


OK, I have to vent for a minute; you don't mind do you? Of course not!

I just got my kids off to school, it is a huge miracle since I COMPLETELY LOST my head!!! I would like to say I am usually pretty good at letting things roll but my youngest has pushed one too many buttons the last few days and unfortunately I forgot to keep my "I don't care" face that Love and Logic teaches so well. Instead, I took all of her actions PERSONALLY and I LOST it! UGH!!! I feel sooo bad, how could I let an 8 year old get me so worked up??? Now she feels horrible and I get to feel guilty for spanking and screaming and well, throwing my own little huge tantrum! 

Looking back as to WHY I lost it: I was frustrated about the way she was acting last night, (throwing things at me during scripture study and prayer because I wouldn't let her play with her toy; then refusing to go to sleep) I went to bed ornery then when I went to the gym this morning, my heart rate monitor told me I burned a whole 220 calories in an hour and 1/2! (I don't get it!) SO, when I walked through the door finding my daughter had wet the bed (because she drank water I told her NOT to drink last night), then listened to her rant and rave about hating her jeans because they aren't comfortable and that she isn't going to eat or do her hair... I think you get the point... who could blame me right?!

SORRY, I don't know why I am even posting this other then it just feels good to get it off my chest. I guess I will chock it up to a bad day... Oh yea, it's only 8:30 in the morning, let's just hope it doesn't get worse. Wish me luck this afternoon when my sweet little angel comes home as I try to put her self esteem back together and come to grips that I am the mom and I need to act like one!

THANKS FOR LISTENING... I feel much better now :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I have a real problem with water consumption.
It just doesn't taste as good to me as Pepsi. I did not drink any Pepsi yesterday though. Yay!
I usually add a Crystal Light packet to my water so I can drink it, not a fan of the lemon slices in water.
But, I feel like I shouldn't always be adding those packets to my water. I also forget to drink it.
If I have a soda handy, I NEVER forget to drink that. But water? It will take me all day to make my way through a 16 ounce bottle of it.
So, give me some suggestions girls. How do you get all your water in?

A reintroduction! :)

Hi. My name is Rebekah (aka Jaded Butterfly) and I have alot of weight to loose. :) I'm actually not new here, but I was one of the quite non-posters. I have actually been here from the beginning, but rarely posted, just read every so often. It's a boring story, but my original email I gave Audrey when I signed up, is from an email account that I rarely use. I didnt want this blog to come up with "Jaded Butterfly" which was my (private for only me) blog. Unfortunately, because I stay logged into this email account all day, it was a pain to log out of that email and into the one I use for this site, so I eventually just asked Audrey to change the email account associated with this blog for me, so I couldnt use that as an excuse to not come here.

So, Jaded Butterfly is actually me, Rebekah, mom of 3 fun little men and a tiny princess and wife to one amazing man. I'm a stay at home mom who enjoys playing with her kids, gardening, decorating, sewing/crafts, home improvement, and dabbles in a little bit of photography, although I dont have the time to devote to becoming good - yet!

I was a swimmer and waterpolo player in highschool, a spinner (as in bikes, hahaha) and yogalaties crazy in early married-hood, and have now taken on running. I have running asthma, so it has takent me a long time to build a base in running. When I first started running last spring/summer, I couldnt even run a half of a mile without going into a full on attack. But with perseverance, smart coaching and learning some new techniques, I have been able to work through some of the side effects and now I have built up my lung muscles so I can run several miles at a time. I ran 5 miles the other day. My chest was tight and on fire and I was having a hard time towards the end, but I did it. I never thought I would be able to do that long of a run.

I'm probably insane for signing up for a half marathon, but it has been a dream of mine for several years. I found the perfect race for my first half marathon and I'm excited to do it. I'm determined to do it.

I wont lie. I really hoped that running would help me loose weight, but so far that hasnt been the case. I've tried working out at home with DVD's and such, but I'm just too comfortable in my own home and too tired at night, so I havent found success in that. In September I signed up for a beautiful new gym down the street from my house, and I have been counting down the days until it opens (and right now it is 3 weeks late). I cant wait to start spinning again. And I look forward to adding in some swimming and Pilate's.

So, this is me. Not some crazie who decided to randomly post one day... ok maybe I am, LOL. (oh and sorry the picture is old. It is actually from last winter. I dont have any recent photo's, so this will have to do :) )

Monday, November 29, 2010

Oh my...

I feel like I should be in one of those anonymous meetings...My name is Chelsea and I've completely fell off the wagon. I'm (way) overweight, I feel disgusting and I'm addicted to food....but I'm back....and I want to win.

My emotional eating is out of control but I'm in the process of changing that!! I broke down and got a treadmill since I've been paying for a monthly gym membership that I haven't walked into for probably more than a year. I really want to RUN, but am far from it right now. I've never felt this horrible when I've exercised which is just another indicator of how bad I've let it go.

Anyway...on with the new! My goal is to lose 10lbs by Christmas.

Good luck ladies!!

The Disney Dining Plan

I've been away far too long. Part of the reason was a trip to see family (including Audrey, the Queen and Dragonfly) and partly because of a week long surprise trip to Disney, our first ever family vacation.

And I just want to say for the record that the Disney Dining plan is way too much food.

A fountain drink and dessert come with lunch and dinner. And the portions were huge. And I felt compelled to eat and drink it because of the price tag. And I don't even drink soda.

A quick glance around Disney World told me that most Americans are on their own version of the Disney Dining Plan 24/7/365. Many parents and grandparents were riding those little motorized carts merely because of their weight. It made me sad to see the obesity epidemic on such a large scale in the happiest place in the world.

So, I'm recommitting to water, exercise and vegetables. Because the magic starts here. With me.

Yes, we had a winner!

Congratulations to Jill!
She won the last challenge before Thanksgiving! She has been a great example of sticking to it this fall! You're the woman!

Now, some of you may have noticed the new blog!
When I was home this summer I told her I wanted to change it up but didn't know how do it! She used her amazing talent and put this together. Isn't it awesome?!?!

Thanks Chelsea, I love you!

Make sure you check out the post below. We have recommitted participants and a new one! Welcome Mikki!

I'm on the wagon again....

In august, I signed up for my first half marathon! If you know me at all, I am NOT a runner. when I started running again last June, I couldnt even run a 1/2 of a mile without needing an inhaler for my running asthma. I just ran my longest run ever 2 Saturday's ago... 5 miles!

After running a 5K turkey trot last week, I'm wondering what I am doing!!!!! I was dying after the first mile because I forgot to go to the bathroom that morning. I had a goal of running it in under 31 minutes because I had wanted to qualify to sign up for a second half marathon in March. Despite my asthma flare up and wanting to wet myself on the run, I did qualify, JUST barely! 30 min and 57 sec.

Seriously! Could I have cut it any closer??? LOL
I have decided even though I did qualify, that I am not going to run the March 1/2 marathon I was wanting to. I think running a 2nd half marathon 3 weeks after my very first one, is a little insane and a bit too hard on my body. No worries though, I am looking at one in April to run! :)

So, I have 2 big challenges starting for me this week.

First, even though I've been running, it has been conditioning and building my base. Today is the first day of my official half marathon training program. Running in the cold is going to be a big challenge for me. I actually love to run when it is 45-50 degrees out. But trying to get me out in 30 degree temps is very hard. I have no choice but to run early in the morning at sunrise, because of Jeff's work and school schedule. So freezing cold runs are inevitable. I am NOT a treadmill runner. I hate it. Loathe it. BUT... I did sign up at the new LA Fitness.... if it ever opens! That will be a great way for me to cross train, and give me no excuses to not workout. I am actually looking forward to it and am getting impatient for them to open (they are late by 2 weeks so far).

Second, I am going to really make myself accountable for my intake.... eating, drinking etc. I actually eat extremely healthy, and low calories, but I must be doing something wrong because my weight is not coming down.

Last winter, after I had Eden, I dropped from 185 to 170. Then when I got serious about running, I dropped 2 pounds. That's IT!. Now, before I'm told I'm "loosing fat and gaining muscle" I will agree. I have dropped from a size 16 post baby, to a size 10 (probably an 8 if I didnt have the excess muffin top of stretched skin - thank you pregnancy!) BUT... my weight is not coming down. And I know we arent suppose to be focused on a weight goal, but... I am tired of going into the dr's office and being called obese because all they go off of is my weight and not my overall health. So I do need to loose some actual weight.

I'm excited to get "on a program", but I'm a little nervous to post here. I only really know 2 of you in really life and it is a bit lonely and vulnerable to post to people I dont know. BUT, I think it will be good for me. I need to be accountable to someone other than my husband who loves me too much to be tough on me and keep me in line. And I love that you all focus on the overall health, not just weight loss.

So here I am. Today it starts and today *I* start! :)

Helloooo Ladies!

My name is Mikki, and I'm so excited to be joining the challenge.
I did the Ladies Olympic Challenge earlier this year, and I lost about thirty pounds. I've since gained back between five and ten of those pounds. Not horrible, but not terrific either. And definitely not the way I want to see the scales move.
Ok, here's the nitty gritty.
I'm 5'4" and I currently weigh about 165 (last time I checked, which was last week, before Thanksgiving! So now I'm probably five pounds heavier LOL).
I would really like to lose another twenty to thirty pounds. I know I can do it.
The accountability is really key for me. That's when I lost the weight last time, when I had the LOC to report in to.

My goal for the extra thirty points is to read my scriptures every day.
I've been so bad about it lately, and I can feel the loss of that in my life.
So, I think I'll take an hour in the mornings to dedicate to myself.
A half hour of physical improvement, and a half hour of spiritual improvement.
If I miss a day of scripture reading, then I lose those thirty points.
Seems like pretty good incentive!
I really look forward to getting to "know" all of you.
Here is my personal blog, if you'd like to stop by and get to know me a little better.
Good luck everyone!