Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Having "one of those days"


OK, I have to vent for a minute; you don't mind do you? Of course not!

I just got my kids off to school, it is a huge miracle since I COMPLETELY LOST my head!!! I would like to say I am usually pretty good at letting things roll but my youngest has pushed one too many buttons the last few days and unfortunately I forgot to keep my "I don't care" face that Love and Logic teaches so well. Instead, I took all of her actions PERSONALLY and I LOST it! UGH!!! I feel sooo bad, how could I let an 8 year old get me so worked up??? Now she feels horrible and I get to feel guilty for spanking and screaming and well, throwing my own little huge tantrum! 

Looking back as to WHY I lost it: I was frustrated about the way she was acting last night, (throwing things at me during scripture study and prayer because I wouldn't let her play with her toy; then refusing to go to sleep) I went to bed ornery then when I went to the gym this morning, my heart rate monitor told me I burned a whole 220 calories in an hour and 1/2! (I don't get it!) SO, when I walked through the door finding my daughter had wet the bed (because she drank water I told her NOT to drink last night), then listened to her rant and rave about hating her jeans because they aren't comfortable and that she isn't going to eat or do her hair... I think you get the point... who could blame me right?!

SORRY, I don't know why I am even posting this other then it just feels good to get it off my chest. I guess I will chock it up to a bad day... Oh yea, it's only 8:30 in the morning, let's just hope it doesn't get worse. Wish me luck this afternoon when my sweet little angel comes home as I try to put her self esteem back together and come to grips that I am the mom and I need to act like one!

THANKS FOR LISTENING... I feel much better now :)


  1. We've all had bad days and always feel horrible afterwards, but, go forward and try to change your attitude, forgive yourself and ask her to forgive you, that we make mistakes too. We are human. Sounds like you might not be getting the sleep you need and things pile up or even PMS. It all adds up. Take care of yourself and it will help you take care of the family. I struggled with this for years. Hang in there.

  2. She'll forgive and forget and love you no matter what. Regroup, say a little prayer and have a better afternoon. Easy for the non-Mom, non-Wife to say eh? Cheer up!!

  3. I just read somewhere that drinking water when we're angry, frustrated or on the verge of tears can stop a meltdown in it's tracks. Drink extra water today, Jill, and breathe.

  4. I'm totally snickering because I had a similar experience last Saturday night, only it wasn't my daughter, it was a Wyoming cop on I-80 out on a cold, dark wintery night...

    I think that deserves a separate blog post.

    About your daughter - yes, none of us want to "lose it" with our kids. We want to ALWAYS be the mature adult and set the example of how to calmly deal with strong feelings, especially when they are negative feelings.

    But, then reality sets in and we are not perfect, especially when it comes to irrational drama-queen daughters (I have one of the those, she's been that way since she learned how to walk and she's now 13, and I have had too many irrational moments of my own with her), but that's what the Atonement is for.

    Have you ever thought of that, I mean really, really thought of that lately? How we tend to think that if we are not perfect ALL THE TIME that Heavenly Father and the Savior won't let the Atonement apply to us, that they will stop blessing us? But hello! They KNOW we are imperfect, make lousy choices even when we know better, and just generally get ourselves in trouble one way or another constantly. But they love us! They want us to succeed DESPITE our imperfections, failings, and downright deliberately sinful behavior. They want us to have the chance, over and over, to rise up and overcome those things! They know our hearts, they know we WANT to be good, WANT to progress, and WANT to love them and all our brothers and sisters here on earth. Even when they are obnoxious 8-yr-old or 13-yr-old girls, boys, husbands, parents, friends, neighbors, coworkers, take your pick.

    So, deep breath, apologize if you need to, and move on. Kids learn pretty quickly that parents aren't perfect (in fact, they love to "catch" them in their weaker moments), but they get to see us return to love, return to forgiveness, and keep trying in this thing called life. I think in our imperfection, we get to show them the beauty of forgiveness, repentance, and increased love for each other and the Savior. And that is a very, very good thing.

    Now, on to my post about becoming Zsa Zsa Gabor.

  5. Jill, I've had so many days like your day today. Don't worry, most children forget those times when their mom loses it unless they're Chris Carlson and then they remind you for the rest of your life that they had to lock themselves in the bathroom because their PMS crazed mother was shouting and coming after them with a piece of hot wheels racetrack. You're an angel mom compared to me. I'm amazed at how well my kids turned out considering the mom who raised them. Love that you felt comfortable enough to share your frustrations with us. Tomorrow is a new day, make it a good one. Now about that 90 minute work out and only 220 calories burned......that would really frustrate me. What's with that?

  6. First off, the picture is AWESOME! I totally cracked up when I saw it. Second, are we living in a parallel universe because I could swear you just describe my life for the past couple days.
    I am taking a breather day tomorrow and just focusing on spending quality time with the kids. I hope tomorrow is better for everyone.

  7. Sounds like every day for me lately. I love, love, love what Becky in Wyoming posted. Beautiful and true. It is so hard sometimes to get past those moments when we are so hard on ourselves. And yeah, after my own behavior sometimes, I feel like I SHOULD be hard on myself. But I think the trick is to try and learn from it and not focus on it, because that's when Satan is there, whispering in our ears that we're worthless and undeserving of forgiveness.
    I hope today is a better day. :)

  8. I'm the exact same way, with my 11 year old. He drives me NUTS! And then, at night when all is quiet and the kids are sleeping, I feel REALLY bad about expressing my frustration with him, and yelling at him most of the night. Motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've done a few hard things. But every morning I pray that I can have the strength to control my actions and temper, just like I'm trying to teach my kids.

  9. Jill, We ALL have "one of those days". I have more like "ten of those days" every month. Seven of them are the week before my period starts! Aren't you glad you got your one of those days over on the first day of December? Now you have the rest of the month to rock like you normally do. I admire you so much!

  10. Jill, I think everyone said it. What's most important is that you're not alone...we all want what's best for our kids and get frustrated when they won't listen.

    Jenn, I pray constantly to have patience with my kids....still praying.


  11. I LOVE YOU ALL!! I am sitting here crying like a baby. You all make me feel so understood yet you inspire me to stop, breathe, and keep moving forward.
    THANK YOU!!! I am so lucky and blessed to call you friends!