Sunday, October 3, 2010


Ok gals. The guilt is weighing on my shoulders, and I am cracking under the pressure. I have to confess before the new challenge starts so I can jump into this with a clear conscience.

Deep breath...

I totally fell off the band wagon today! I hate it when I fall that hard. Seriously! I couldn't leave the gourmet chocolates alone.

I've mentioned before that I really lack self control. Over the past month I have made so many goodies...brownies, cinnamon rolls, snicker doodles, rice krispie treats, banana bread, scones, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, zucchini bread, more cinnamon rolls, chocolate crinkles, peanut butter cookies, and on and on, and I haven't eaten a single one. They don't tempt me because they have wheat in them, and I have learned the hard way what happens when I eat wheat.

When I first stopped eating gluten, I would cave about once a week, and I paid for it by getting sick for a few days. Recently I ate dinner at a neighbors house who didn't speak English very well. In order to avoid being rude, I ended up eating her delicious meal, made with wheat, and spent 4 days sick and miserable. So all these goodies no longer tempt me. Wheat is scary to me. In fact, it's very liberating to be able to cook delicious goodies that my family can enjoy with out even sampling one lick of batter. This type of self control can be misleading though. I begin to think that I am beyond temptation, that I have conquered it, when in fact I have little self control when it comes to treats that I can eat.

With pride in my heart, I went to Costco and bought some gourmet chocolates. I remember holding the container in my hand and thinking "I am stronger than these. I'll just have one every now and then."

So back to the gourmet chocolates. They are gluten free. They are delicious and melt in my mouth. I ate 8 of them today, and they are taunting me, up on my shelf, staring me down every time I get the nerve to glance in their direction. I will probably go lock myself in the bathroom as soon as I am done writing this. I'll probably even sleep in there tonight, until someone comes and saves me.

Anyone want to intervene?

Anyone want to march over to my house and pluck them off my shelf and take them elsewhere?

Truthfully, I bought them for the sisters I visit teach. They won't get any though. They are almost gone.

Thanks for listening.

I just can't have this stuff in my house anymore. Is that cheating? Is it ok that I don't really have any self control? Is it weak to run in the face of danger and temptation? Joseph ran from Potipher's wife. I'm gonna be like Joseph and run from chocolate...starting tomorrow.



  1. Marci- you are fantastic! For one, look at you! You look amazing! So with that you must have some self control. I think we all have our weaknesses in food. Food that tempts us and causes us to have an internal battle. I think your struggles are normal and I thank you for sharing them. Hang in there! The bag is almost gone and you'll have nothing to battle with! (Just Kidding) Better go visit teach tomorrow to get rid of the remains. You can do this!!

  2. There's no shame in removing the temptation. It's the only thing that works for me. Run, Sister, Run!

  3. Have your husband hide them, then when you want one ask him to get them for you. There is no problem with completely removing temptations, what we need to learn is how to control ourselves when we do confront it either at our home or someone elses.

    I think something that is hard for you is that you can have so little that when you do have something that is ok and won't make you sick you're craving it. My brother and I have talked about the if you don't have it now it won't be there when you come back syndrome. Guess what, if they are yours and you hide them, they will be there when you come back. Second, you can always buy more. I've learned that I need to buy smaller packages of things I like, that way I can't eat a whole Costco bag of lets say, Peanut M&M's.

    Don't beat yourself up. Learn and move on. You're amazing. You look amazing. Now, be amazing with controlling things that temp you.

  4. My husband always reminds me that an alcoholic doesn't keep alcohol around... WHY should I keep my sugar around? I do the same thing. It is harder with food because we want to have it for our family but really, do they need it?
    You are so amazing. You really do look strong and fit and FULL of self control. It's nice to remember we are all human. You can conquer this, even if it means just keeping them out of your house. Seriously, there is NO shame in that. You know your limits and you are playing it smart.
    I needed this reminder. THANKS!

  5. I saw your post and you look fantastic. But I can identify with you. I know one fiend that would say no thanks, I"m allergic. She really wasn't physically but mentally and it helped her from endulging because her allergic reaction was fat. LOL I have done well all month. My goal was no refined sugar. Did pretty good until this weekend then blew it big time. But now I'm ready to go again. Enjoy the chocolate and move on.

  6. You have to have a treat now and then. I think denying oneself of all things caloric and good can lead to binge eating, guilt and sleeping in the bathroom. You look great Marcie and trust me, everyone on this blog has done the something similar. Hope you made it through the night without eating all the rest of the chocolates but if you didn't don't beat yourself up. I would have rescued you but would have had to have done so with 4 kids tagging along, of course that wouldn't have been all bad because they would have willingly eaten the rest of those gourmet chocolates.

  7. If you really need rescuing and it's late at night, throw them in the trash and take the trash out. Or, with small chocolates, you could flush them down the toilet, a few at a time. That might feel quite gratifying. =-)

  8. Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. They made me laugh and what great advice too. I ended up asking Chad to be the chocolate police, and let him read the blog post. He happily ate three more, right in front of me, ooohing and aweeing every bite. So supportive. The last four went to my children in the morning, and I am no longer plagued by them. Thank goodness. I know I need to learn to handle it, I am just so out of practice, and truthfully, I don't trust myself. I like the idea of having Chad hide them, so we still have them but I can't go over board. Or maybe I might torture the hiding place out of him. I also thought of giving up chocolates completely, especially because there are treats that I can eat in moderation, like ice cream. I always have home made ice cream in my freezer, and for some reason it's not as much of a temptation, but I still really enjoy it. One last thought...I notice that this happens once a month. Hummm... does anyone else deal with that coincidence?

    I'm so lucky to have all of you as my sounding board. Thanks again for reminding me to move past this, start fresh, and practice moderation.

  9. Treats - I have one nearly every day. Read my Battle blog, where I list what I eat every day. Ice cream sandwiches all the time. The trick for me is leaving enough calories that I can indulge in a sweet treat every day. And don't buy things where they are soooo tempting that you can't just stop at one. And I am crazy busy, so many things to pay attention to that I hardly have time to think about food I miss. But remember all the great things that you ARE doing right. Forget the past, and move on from here.