I have been trying really hard to stay on task with the good eating, exercise, drinking water, etc. I have met my goals successfully this week, in fact exceeded them some days. One day, I exercised out more calories than I took in. Way to go Rose-bud! Right? Well, the frustrating part is that I have gained back 3 lbs! What's with that!!! Seriously! I have been so good! B-day party snacks offered: nachos, carrots, celery, cake and ice cream, water. I chose water and celery...where's the pay off?
Here's where I have a choice. I can choose to feel like a failure, feel frustrated and give up, or...I can choose to have hope and be realistic. This is where I turn to the lessons I have learned in life and apply them to myself. You see, through all the challenges I have faced in my life, one of them is that I want everything on my own time schedule. When it seems I am conquering a certain challenge, I expect to always make progress, or at least see the progress. I have expectations, and when those expectations aren't met, it's easy to get frustrated, depressed or hopeless. If you're shooting baskets with a basketball, how many times are you going to miss the basket before you give up. You know that if you keep trying, eventually you will get better and more consistent...and perhaps if you just change something about your shot, you'll be more successful!
So, I choose... to believe that what my body was thinking and what I was thinking were two different things. My body was not used to the more nutritious intake and the sudden change was a shock to it. It's taking a little bit longer to adjust to the healthy changes I'm making. So, patience in the process! Just a little Attitude Adjustment, right?
I have to take the same Attitude Adjustment with Jake and his chemo. He is suppose to have a long, overnight chemo session every three weeks. We were given a schedule (and expectation) that chemo would be over with by April 12, 2011. But if his counts are not high enough, we have to postpone another week, so it sets back the day chemo is over. He has had no chemo during the month of February! So far, his chemo has been set back to May 1st. As a mother, many of you can relate to the heartache of being the caregiver of a sick child. Nothing you can do to make it all better, and sometimes you have to be the one that inflicts the pain your child has to endure to help them get through the illness. As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm having a good cry session (a good 4 tissues so far)...which tells me that I've been bottling up some feelings. It's good to cry sometimes, not because you feel sorry for your self, but it's a way to process sorrow and grief...and pain.
There! I've owned my feelings today...my feelings, my body and my heart. I've done some great things this week! I've made some very healthy choices, which means that I CAN DO THIS!!! Planning ahead is key for me!
Thank you for being there for me and for letting me have my little therapy session this morning. I feel much better now!
Big Hug!
Rose, this is a fantastic reminder! Thank you for sharing. I too get quite frustrated when hard work and dedication don't reap the rewards I think they should. I guess that is where the patience comes in right?
ReplyDeleteRose, one of our mottos around here is "I can do hard things." Your post today needs to be filed under that category! Good words from an amazing mom. You're doing hard things, probably some of the hardest things you'll ever be asked to do. Have a good cry over your keyboard and vent to us whenever you feel like it! We're here for you!
ReplyDeleteRose, I've been thinking a lot about your post. Sometimes I just don't have words to express what I'm thinking and just like to listen.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it would be like to go what you are going through. I'm amazed by those that do and have a strong belief that Heavenly Father does not give us things that we can not handle. When we are going through them we just have to keep a positive outlook and be strong. We are all stronger than we realize.
As for the body. My first thought is....you're not eating enough and your body is freaking out and holding on to what it has. If you are really tracking your exercise calories and food intake calories you should NEVER BE BURNING MORE THAN YOU"RE EATING!!! Your body needs a certain amount of calories everyday just to sustain life. Let me know if you want help with your calorie adjustment.
Next, I always try to tell people to not freak out about the scale too much. Often times when we see changes in the wrong direction when we are doing the right things its just the waste in our bodies that haven't made it through from a heavy meal, like pasta or bread. Given your post about being stopped up this past week that may be your problem.
I think if you look at these two areas of what you are doing then you should continue to see progress.
As a last note. Stress can do funny things to a body. I can only imagine that you doing amazing things running your family and trying to keep the stress under control, but it's still there! Give yourself credit for that and understand that it can sometimes wreak havoc on your body.
Keep up the good work and stay positive. This is a process and a life long journey, not a miracle drug fixing years of neglect over night. You're not alone in this.
Thanks Sista's!
ReplyDeleteAudrey: I was thinking the same thing about the advice you gave on my b.o.d.y. That is why I chose not to be too discouraged about it. I remembered the "not enough calories" thing, so I ate a whole piece of lasagna for dinner last night. I weighed and have lost 2 of the 3 lbs this morning. That makes me feel better! (I guess it's easy to get caught up in the "Biggest Loser" mentality...not realistic!)
I'm not a "stress" personality. Ask Jill...I'm about as laid back non-stress person as you can find. When I have a worry or concern, I talk to a like-minded girlfriend/sister who knows how to validate my feelings (guys are so terrible at this!). That's why this blog family is so awesome! You guys really know how to validate and encourage...that's what gets me through! I'm the only girl at my house...until I get on the computer!
Sometimes I wish this blog had an 'agree' button just like facebook has a 'like' button. I agree with what you've all said. We're here for you Rose. <3
ReplyDelete