Friday, December 10, 2010


I know I have been absent for quite sometime. I have a lot of thoughts on my mind lately. As I try to sift through everything, I feel overwhelmed. Unfortunately this blog has not been a priority. I haven't given up, and I will be back. I have to take a moment to sift through everything. My mom was diagnosed with Cancer and is having surgery on Monday. Not only am I sick to my stomach about it, but I am also angry with myself. I know, not a positive thing, but it will pass, and I will use that anger to do positive things in my life. You see, I always thought there would be so much time. There would always be enough time to get in better shape to run with her. I procrastinated, and now, I felt like, overnight my time ran out. So, naturally I was angry. Running with my mom, was never just a run. It was developing a deep relationship. One that can only be created through hours of intimate conversation. One only created by the relationship, and support of running. Accomplishing amazing goals. As I sat with her one day and talked about my frustration, she reminded me that I had promised to run another half marathon with her. That she was going to get better. I've made a promise to myself, I will do whatever it takes, to get to that point, so I can still have those intimate moments with her. I am desperate for her. A temporary setback, but I'll be back stronger after the year comes to a close. After my mind can settle from all my worrying.


  1. There is a time and season for everything. I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now. We just recently had a scare with my Dad. We thought he had a heart attack, but it was a problem with his heart valve. There's still heart surgery ahead, but at least we've got some more time. I think whenever we eventually lose our parents, there will always be something left undone, and it will be frustrating. But sometimes Heavenly Father gives us second, third, and fourth chances sometimes so that we can accomplish the things in this life that we need to. Remember, you are being the MOM right now. That is almost always entirely consuming, and we can't always get to the other things and relationships that we want to. Don't beat yourself up too hard, and enjoy the time you have with your Mom. Love ya, Becky

  2. Alicia,
    It's great to hear from you. I've been thinking about you but wanting to give you space...I wasn't sure why, then I was very surprised to see your comment and then post yesterday.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I sounds like she is taking the fight with cancer face on and you need to join her.

    It was probably good for you to vent your frustrations but now it's time to be positive and help her be positive too.

    You can do amazing things. I know you can. Don't let self doubt pull you down. That's only Satan.

    Spend time doing what you need to do but don't forget yourself. I'm sure your mom would not want you to do that.

    You may not be running with your mom right now but you will still have lots of time together to foster that deep relationship. I totally know what you mean by that.

    I love you and think of you as a wonderful friend...funny how relationships can be fostered this way.

    Keep us in the loop and let us help you in any way we can.

  3. Oh Alicia, what a tough thing for your family to go through. Your mom is so amazing, and she has passed that on to you. We'll be praying for her here in Virginia. And for you too. Please don't forget how much we love you. Hang in there!

  4. Alicia, I have been thinking so much about you and was planning on sending you an email. I seriously miss hearing from you.
    I am SO SORRY for your mother and the situation you are in. What is your mom's prognosis?
    Don't beat yourself up over this. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. You WILL run the 1/2 marathon you promised, with your mom or even if it's FOR your mom while she cheers you on, it will mean the world to both of you.
    I know it's hard to be strong. Please know you can ALWAYS vent to us ANYTIME but hold on to your testimony that you are NEVER alone. God WILL strengthen you and your family. Cherish every day and don't let your guilt and frustrations with your past get in the way.
    We are praying for you.
    My heart is aching, I wish I could do something. Seriously, I am not far, if you EVER need someone to watch your kids I will be there in a heartbeat.
    Thanks for letting us know and please keep us updated. Let your mom know we love her and are praying for her.
    Keep your chin up. You can do it I PROMISE!! LOVE YOU!

  5. Alicia,

    Your heart is laid bare and we are all reaching out to you to lift you up and encourage you to run the good race...and by that we mean to be there for your mom and still let her be there for you.

    You will run that 1/2 marathon. Yes, you will.

    Enjoy this time with your mom and channel your worry energy into something positive: giving to others or getting some exercise in. Either one will help dissipate the clouds that are hanging over you.

  6. Alicia,

    Sending a huge hug your way! I am so sorry to hear about your mom, it truly breaks my heart. You have been given some great advice from the HWHL gals and I hope you realize how much we all truly love and adore you. You are amazing and you can do hard things. We are here for you, and I'm just minutes away should you ever need anything. I have missed you on the blog. Take care and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Such a difficult thing to be dealing with.
    I am sending my prayers your way.

  8. Alicia, I put you and your mom's name in the temple on Friday... Lot's of prayers coming your way :)

  9. Thank You! Thank You! For all the amazing support and uplifiting comments. Jill, you totally made my day today!

  10. Alicia, I'm so so so sorry. I know a lot of us here have lost loved ones to cancer. But I bet a lot of us have seen miracles happen, too. I think your mom is the kind of lady who's fit for a miracle. Let us know how the surgery goes.