Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Nervous Eating Continue
I've been thinking about Jennifer's post a lot lately. Kind of funny how random posts do that to you. I love this blog and how honest we can all be and how safe it feels. I used to feel so alone. That my eating habits were one of a kind. I'm beginning to realize that most people have a comfort relationship to food. I am certainly jealous of those that don't. I feel like I have come a long way, although I am not perfect. I still have bad days, where I just don't care and don't want to think about the consequences. Comfort food is a true honest battle for me. I know we all have our weaknesses, and I can fully admit that food is the one for me. I have used food to self medicate my emotions since my parents divorced when I was 13. Eating, overeating, allows me to fill the basic need for comfort in that moment when the emotions are going wild. And yes, I want all you comfort eaters to realize, IT IS ONLY A MOMENT! Sure comfort eating might make us feel better for a moment, and I absolutely realize that sometimes that moment feels worth it. A moment of pleasure sounds better than just dealing with my emotions in a moment of weakness. I have been working on a measure of forgiveness to myself. And, I can honestly say, after many years, I think I've achieved it. How do I know that? Because I don't give up on myself. I keep moving forward because I want to conquer this battle. When I have the anxiety to eat, I force myself to carefully work through my emotions. If I do, when the emotions are over, I feel a great self accomplishment. More than any other thing I've done. When I give in, it's a temporary fix. Not only do I feel physically sick, but my emotions are worse than when I started. So here is my encouragement: I challenge all you emotionally eaters out there to feel the accomplishment of success. Forgive yourself of past mistakes, move forward, and overcome your challenge. If you are like me, this is the hardest thing you will do, but it will be the most rewarding!