Tuesday, April 5, 2011

One, two, buckle my shoe - nine, ten, do it again...

I am here to sadly report that just one year after starting with the Healthy Wives I am right back where I started.

BOO!

I began in March 2010 at 158 pounds and size 12, got down to 143.5 pounds and size 6/8 by June 2010, maintained through the summer and fall, then completely went to pot once winter came. I now weigh 157 pounds and am right back in those size 12's.

Simply put, I quit exercising when it got cold and I began eating with reckless abandon. I love exercising outside, more for the mental health aspect than anything else, so when it got too cold I just lost my mojo and couldn't bring myself to do any of the workout DVDs collecting dust on my shelf. I would sporadically go out walking in the sub-freezing temperatures,

(like the icicles on my eyebrows? I think it was 2 degrees on this January morning.)

but was never consistent. I quit caring about what I was eating, I think mostly because I didn't feel great anyway, without the daily exercise, so I just threw caution to the wind. I knew I was gaining, but I couldn't find the motivation to do anything about it. I always found a little comfort in the fact that I was still under my starting weight of 158 and I just kept telling myself that I'd do something about it once spring came.

The other day I got on the scales and was super depressed to see 158.5 staring back at me. How did I let this happen? Why, oh why, did I waste all that effort, all that health, all that fitness only to have to start all over again? It's so frustrating and I'm just kicking myself. I know why I did it. I was depressed because my husband is gone all the time and I'm usually in a lousy mood most of the winter anyway.

I'd like to say that I've had some great epiphany and am super motivated now, but it's more a case of spring is here and I just don't have winter as my excuse anymore. I want to feel better, to breathe deeply of the fresh country air, to fit into my smaller clothes, to feel good about myself again. I want to feel like this:

(Bear Lake, July 2010)

all sassy and confident because this was the first time in, oh, probably forever, that I didn't feel self-conscious in a bathing suit.

So I am starting again with my handy-dandy mini notebook where I write my calories, and tomorrow I will put on my running shoes and get about the business of getting healthy again.

Here is a recent picture of me, on March 16 after having carpal tunnel release surgery on both hands:


My doc said that after three weeks the wounds will be healed enough that I can do push-ups on them. Time to bust a move!

P.S. Where are we in the current challenge? I haven't been keeping track; is the 5 week challenge over?

9 comments:

  1. I've been worried about you Sue. I know that this past year has been hard as you have to often parent by yourself in a tiny house surrounded by miserablly cold weather. It is so easy when faced with so much responsitility to let good habits slide and succumb to our old habits. I think the true challenge, for ALL OF US, is makng the healthy habits become real honest to goodness life long habits....I believe we can all do that. Desire, effort and discipline are required, you've got the desire, you know what you have to do to feel healthy and look healthy....you can DO IT!

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  2. Sue! I am right with you! I finally lost some weight last fall but it's back and I hate it! I need to stop using food as my outlet and only form of enjoyment!
    I am taking baby steps. It might sound silly but a few weeks ago I promised myself no chips. We eat tons of mexican food at our house so this was a challenge. I may not be where I want to be but at least I can say I have kept this promise and it does feel good.
    Know you are not alone! We can do this!!!
    I hope you heal QUICK!! Good luck!

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  3. You to girl! We're here for you! On the bright side, at least you can fit into 12's!

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  4. I am in your boat with you, I started off at a great weight, got pregnant and I've got 15-20 lbs. extra :( I'm in the same size you're in and want to get back to my 6's. We can do it!! Let's lose those pounds!

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  5. Sue,
    It is so hard when the weight sneaks back on when we slack off (I am there with you too, unfortunately) but I try to tell myself I can't go backwards I just have to keep moving forward and do better today than I did yesterday. We can do this!

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  6. I'm in the same boat. Lost 50, gained 20. You guys can read about it at:
    http://www.battlefor200andbeyond.blogspot.com/

    And I'm with Sue - I've totally lost track of where we are on HWHL. When does the new session start, and when are we going back to points?

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  7. SUE! I'm so sorry! I think there are a few of us in the same boat. The good news is, thanks to Audrey, we know how to do this! And we've got all these cheerleaders just waiting to celebrate with us as we meet each goal.

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  8. P.S. Dang cute picture at the end!

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  9. I'm right there with you too. I lost about thirty pounds last year and over the course of the winter i've put all but ten of them back on. I've been exercising lately at least, but I can't seem to stop eating. Good luck!

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