August 2007Provo River 1/2 Marathon with my mom
Right as I was starting to put weight on
December 2008At my heaviest weight
April 2010Now, downward climb
Here's the outward part of my life: I have three, very beautiful, active children. Brooke is 6, Carson is 4, and Tyler is 2. They keep me on my toes. I've been married to my husband Brent for ten years. We were High School Sweethearts. We live in Salt Lake, four houses away from his parents. We are a very close family. Most of his siblings, all 8 of them, live within a couple miles of us, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love to camp, hike, ski, read, play with the kids, go boating, and especially run.
Here's the inward part of my life: While I love to do these things, my emotional eating habits get the better of me. When I was in high school. I was very conscious of my weight. I played Volleyball, Softball, and exercised any chance I could get. After high school, I didn't care so much, but I didn't let myself completely go. After my daughter was born, I turned toward food for my emotion control. It was hard for me to transition into motherhood. Not that I didn't love it, but I had a lot of guilt and pressure I put on myself. My parents divorced when I was 13, and I was so afraid of messing my own kids up, emotionally, just like I felt as a teenager. (This is in no way intended to downgrade my parents, for they are amazing parents. The circumstances were hard and the age in which it happened was hard.) So, every time I felt like a failure as a mother, I'd turn toward food. In 2007, I decided enough was enough. I looked for a quick fix. A fad diet would do the trick. I lost 55 pounds in 12 weeks. I was a running machine. My mom is a runner too, and I loved running with her. With her, exercise was more than just a run. It was a time to bond and heal from the past. Then I got pregnant with my third. After he was born, my emotions were out of control. I turned to food at every opportunity possible. I packed on the pounds fast. The depression set in, and life seemed hopeless. Then, for some reason, a light came on. I realized the person I was, was not the person I wanted to be. As I started eating healthy, and exercising, I realized food controls my every emotion. When I don't eat healthy, I am tired, angry, frustrated, irritable, depressed, ugly, just to name a few. Becoming healthy has been the key point in having a happy life. There are days that I still struggle. It isn't an easy battle to fight, but it is worth it. My family deserves to have a healthy and happy mom. I am worth it. I'm being selfish here, it is all about me.
I feel like i know you. I can relate to so much of what you said. I too am an emotional eater and post pregnancy is the worst. That is why I joined this blog. I need to keep my emotions in check by eating better. Thank you for sharing so much about yourself.
ReplyDeleteAlicia, thanks for posting your bio. It's great to be able to put a face and a story with a name. Your straight forward explanation of how food = mood was great! So true!
ReplyDeleteAlicia! You are a beautiful woman! Thank you so much for sharing your struggles. I have struggled with depression over the past few years. I was managing very well until last year and emotional eating totally took over. I would eat until very late at night because I had to wait for my very healthy husband to go to bed so he wouldn't know.
ReplyDeleteOn the days that I struggle during this challenge it's very hard not to just start shoving food in my mouth and throw in the towel. Part of me is an athlete waiting to emerge. The other part if an emotional mess that wants to sink into my bed for the whole day because if I don't sleep I'll eat. It's a battle.
I figure more good days than bad days is going to move me towards my goal. And maybe if I move towards my goal I will have better self esteem.
It also helps to know that there are people counting on me. Thanks for encouraging us all. Introducing us to Trainer Momma and having such a positive point of view.
I am so happy to have you as a part of our little community! Your posts have been particular influential in my fitness goals. Thanks for finally doing a bio post- I'm so glad to get to know you a little better!
ReplyDeleteAlicia, I just love you and your family. I appreciate that you share your struggles and insight with us...it's hard to live in this world sometimes. I think you are amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteWow Audrey, you and I are very similar in our eating behavior. I would wait til my husband went to bed or was at work and then I would do my emotional eating. I had hiding places for all my "junk" food. He could never figure out why I was putting on weight because in front of him, I was eating so healthy. Thanks for starting this blog! I think we all need the support and knowing we are not alone.
ReplyDeleteAlecia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It sounds very similar to my own. I have really been trying to focus on dealing with my emotions instead of drowning them in food.
I am so much like you! My husband can tell EXACTLY how I have been eating the moment he walks in the door. I know that eating better and taking care of myself is not only a huge benefit to me but to my family!!!
Are you planning on running another 1/2 marathon? My husband, daughter and I are running the Provo River 1/2 in August. It would be SO fun to have you there too!!
Jill, not this year. I won't be ready by August. I'm running 45 min at a wack and to the point where I want to increase my miles, but I don't want to push myself to hard. A 45 min run is still a challenge. I do have a goal of running a Half Marathon in the spring. Maybe the Moab 1/2? The Provo River was a fun one. Have you done it before?
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing your inward struggles. I'm trying to get my best friend to join us and I think reading that we all have our demons and that we share many common struggles will really inspire her to get on board.
ReplyDeleteMy mom lives in American Fork and I come down to visit every month or so. You, Jill and I will have to get together for lunch next time I come down!
Jill, you are amazing! (and darling - thanks for pictures) Thank you for helping us all tap in to our inner trainer mammas. And thank you for giving us a view into your life. I know I have much to learn from you.
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
ReplyDeleteYou're beautiful....love the pics. How blessed we are to have you participating in this challenge and blog. Your enthusiasm and knowlege have been such a wonderful help to everyone.